i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
