Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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