But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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