Screwed.edu
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
