Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
