apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
