how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
