I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
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Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
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Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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