i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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