Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
