I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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