How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize