Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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