i think my tv is drunk
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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