didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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