do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
