I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
