i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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