it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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