it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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