i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
