Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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