Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Randomize
