she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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