Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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