Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
