You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize