You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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