You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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