shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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