i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I AM VODKA MAN
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
