just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
