he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
