Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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