i jhust puked up my retainher.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
