Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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