Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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