Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
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idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
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I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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