i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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