it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
