That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize