I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
