I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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