I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
In America we eat man semen.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
