They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
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The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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