What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
