if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
