I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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