those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think weed is turning my hair brown
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
