i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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