There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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