Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
only if we run a train.
done.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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