omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
