Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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