I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
