Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
