My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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