Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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