Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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