I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
