HIV tests are more positive than that guy
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
