if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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