im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
