Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
there's paper in my vomit.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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