i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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