he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
